This article features interviews about the challenges people face during a particular process.
This is an example of the challenges and solutions faced by a family of three with children. Every family has different problems, but it's important to work together as a family to find solutions.
- You can learn an example of how to deal with your insecurities.
My family's circumstances
In my family, I, the breadwinner, developed depression about 15 years ago, and after repeated hospitalizations, I was diagnosed with schizophrenia a year and a half later and have not been able to return to society.
So how did we manage to make ends meet? Well, there's a disability pension, and since I was enrolled in the employee pension system when the illness started, I had a minimum income. Plus, my wife went out to work, so we were able to make ends meet somehow.
Consideration for children
Having grown up in poverty, I didn't want my children to experience the same feelings, so I did my best to prevent them from feeling like they "didn't have money."
Whether it was clothes or games, I didn't just give him whatever he wanted. I considered his daily life and sometimes combined it with his allowance to ensure he could live a normal life.
My disability as a child
He developed the condition shortly after he was born, I think when he was about a year and a half old, so he has never seen me working.
Perhaps because of this, he fortunately accepted that I was disabled, and when his friends asked him about his father's occupation, he simply replied, "He doesn't work," without feeling any shame.
Growing up in poverty
He was attending a prestigious high school, but when it came time to decide on his future, he said, "I want to get a job and help support my family."
As they entered adolescence, they may have gradually become aware of the situation their family was in.
Even so, when my wife and I encouraged him to go to college, he said, "I know it's better to have money, but that doesn't mean it's all good. As I grew older, I gradually realized that we didn't have much money. But I was still happy. It's all about how you use it, isn't it? I want money that makes me happy."
While I was happy to see him grow, I also blamed myself for making him think about things like this.
The image of the father in a child's mind, as seen by the father
What would have happened if I had shown him "the normal image of a father"?
I leave the house with my child in the morning, come back late at night, and at the end of the month I hand my salary to my mother and give my child pocket money.
I wasn't able to do that.
To avoid accumulating stress, I take walks almost every day, and when I'm feeling unwell and my body feels heavy, I just sleep all the time.
I wonder how he felt when he saw that.
You can eat without working, you don't have to endure going to the office, and you can do whatever you like.
Perhaps that's how they felt.
The gap between the ideal father figure and reality, and future prospects.
I failed to show him hard work. I failed to teach him the importance of working hard.
What impact will this have on him when he ventures out into the world, what will he think about, and how will he overcome it?
I can't offer any advice. But I want to think together, endure, and speak out. I want everyone to know that I'm outside the waves of society, he's in the waves, and I'm here, and I'll do my best to have brighter days ahead.
Solution: Let your feelings out
Those of you who have read this far probably have your own problems and are looking for solutions.
I feel like my feelings aren't understood, and I can't reciprocate the feelings of others.
At times like that, or rather, especially at times like those, please reach out. Talk to them.
It's not just about the nice words; it includes all the failures and regrets I don't want to talk about.
Listen carefully, and once you've accepted what they're saying, then it's time to let out all your feelings.
Emotions might run high, and an argument might ensue.
Don't be afraid. Within those excited words, you'll find fragments of genuine feelings, like gold dust.
If you were to gather them all together, they would surely emit a dazzling light.
